Friday, July 19, 2013

The End of A Love Story

Tonight I sit here with a very heavy heart. Last night Chris and I parted ways. Things will never be the same. I told him I cant be his friend, I tried that and I love him to much to just be friends. Not two weeks ago Chris said he would give me more and have a stronger relationship with me. God did that make my heart sing!!! Well that was short lived! Chris immediately started acting weird. I go to his house to see what his malfunction is and he tells me that the day after he agreed to give me more, he started to feel "trapped". Now all I ever asked of him was to be with me and let me love and care for him. He actually said hearing the "Love" wrd is a trigger for him. I dont think he has ever felt love, what could it possibly trigger??? Now lets recap the last 5 years. Every time Chris has a problem, he calls me. Every time Chris needs his ego stroked, he calls me. Every time Chris is lonely, he calls me. Every time Chris needs a job reference, a new resume, a pat on the back or just a sympathetic ear, he calls me. He even sent me emails stating how much he missed me when he was with Brooke, the woman he cheated on me with. He would call me and complain about how unhappy he was with her and what a mistake he made. Last night started out with him telling me not to give up on him and ended with him plugging his ears not wanting to hear me say its over then leaving his own house while I try to compose myself in the other room. He is such a pussy he didnt want to face my tears and hear me say "goodbye". He sent his son to tell me he wont came home until I leave. A 6'6" man couldnt face this 5'0" woman!!! And I use to feel safe with him by my side? I probably would of wound up protecting him! This truly is the end of a 5 year relationship I lovingly cultured. How it got here I will never really understand:( But I will replay it many many times while Im just trying to figure it out........