Monday, May 31, 2010

Heartless Soul

What is it that can make a person perform actions that leave a person feeling as though their heart has been ripped right out of their body? You know the actual feeling that you can no longer breath? Your mind goes blank and you cant form a logical thought. When you realize that no matter what is said or done things will never be the same? I have posted before about the man Chris that I have been kinda seeing for awhile. I just blogged about how he has been in a funk. Well come to find out, that's code for " I have been seeing someone else". And to put the cherry on the pie, he heartlessly informed me by posting "Chris Butler is in a relationship" on Facebook. I actually didnt breathe for a good 5 minutes when I read that! When I finally speak to him he at first trys to blow it off then then admits he has "kinda been dating Brooke a woman I work with." God was I hoping he would tell me he was just joking around. Now even putting aside the feelings I have for him, as the good friend he claims me to be, I DESERVE way better than this. How can someone that I fell in love with be so heartless in this decision? No words can ever describe the pain my heart felt when I read that post!!!!He said he was sorry and that as soon as he posted it he regretted it. FUCK that! He could of said something a long fucking time ago!! Ive never given him reason to think he couldn't tell me anything! Just last week we made plans to go to Lagoon together and also talked about another Vegas trip. Friends don't do this to friends. I am the best friend that man will ever have. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for him! He wants to be friends and still wants to go to Lagoon. My head is literally spinning in circles! Now that I have let it sink in and have come to terms with how down right heartless and cruel he was to me, I want to meet with him and really let him see how bad he has hurt me! See the pain in my eyes. How could the person I thought I knew do this to me? Am I really that bad? Again I stop and wonder why was I unlovable? Why am I just not the one? Will he ever realize what I really had to offer? How great we could be together? This one will take on a whole new meaning to "just trying to figure it out!"........


  1. WOW... Ok mom i'm sorry that you once again have to have your heart Ripped out of your chest becuase of this dick licker!!! and he totally led you on!! he starts to come out of his "funk" and talk to you and plan shit when really that would have been a good time to say look... i'm seeing someone and i think its best were friends for now but NO he's a stupid boy who doesn't understand that when you tell a girl you love them that it really means you love them... and when you do all the little nice things like carry the bag,pen the door ya know all the usual thing boys are programed to do... and then behind your back he decides to do this crap!! FUCK YOU CHRIS!!! and besides mom he drives a big truck... you know what that means... and him being 6'6 doesn't give him any credit at all!! he's too big of a pussy to protect you so his truck and him being tall makes up for all the bad traits he has ohhhh boy
    "Hel ooks like a cool drink of water
    But he’s candy-coated misery
    He’s the devil in disguise
    A snake with blue eyes
    And he only comes out at night
    Gives you feelings that you don’t want to fight
    You better run for your life..." ASSHOLE!!!

  2. awesome..i'm glad that boys in there 40's still pull the same shit as 20-year-olds..

  3. ya... the game changes but the PLAYER stays the same... once a cheater always a cheater! and when you can't face the fact that your a piece of shit then you have a problem... oh hows about you grow a pair!

  4. Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh*t.

    ya..he'll get his

  5. Oh, someone is due for a serious ass kicking!!!I can't believe his shit, all you have done for him, all the times you've been there. You know what sweetie, it's not that you weren't enough, it's that you are too much and even though he is an idiot he was smart enough to realize that he could never be worthy of you. I've learned from this wonderful divorced life that " I'm just not ready now, I need time" is code for " I want to string you along but keep my options open." Men like him and my ex always think the grass is gonna be greener, but one day they are going to be in a sad desert of their own making. I'm so sorry. I love you.