Monday, May 31, 2010
What is it that can make a person perform actions that leave a person feeling as though their heart has been ripped right out of their body? You know the actual feeling that you can no longer breath? Your mind goes blank and you cant form a logical thought. When you realize that no matter what is said or done things will never be the same? I have posted before about the man Chris that I have been kinda seeing for awhile. I just blogged about how he has been in a funk. Well come to find out, that's code for " I have been seeing someone else". And to put the cherry on the pie, he heartlessly informed me by posting "Chris Butler is in a relationship" on Facebook. I actually didnt breathe for a good 5 minutes when I read that! When I finally speak to him he at first trys to blow it off then then admits he has "kinda been dating Brooke a woman I work with." God was I hoping he would tell me he was just joking around. Now even putting aside the feelings I have for him, as the good friend he claims me to be, I DESERVE way better than this. How can someone that I fell in love with be so heartless in this decision? No words can ever describe the pain my heart felt when I read that post!!!!He said he was sorry and that as soon as he posted it he regretted it. FUCK that! He could of said something a long fucking time ago!! Ive never given him reason to think he couldn't tell me anything! Just last week we made plans to go to Lagoon together and also talked about another Vegas trip. Friends don't do this to friends. I am the best friend that man will ever have. There was nothing I wouldn't have done for him! He wants to be friends and still wants to go to Lagoon. My head is literally spinning in circles! Now that I have let it sink in and have come to terms with how down right heartless and cruel he was to me, I want to meet with him and really let him see how bad he has hurt me! See the pain in my eyes. How could the person I thought I knew do this to me? Am I really that bad? Again I stop and wonder why was I unlovable? Why am I just not the one? Will he ever realize what I really had to offer? How great we could be together? This one will take on a whole new meaning to "just trying to figure it out!"........
Posted by Bubbles1206 at 11:37 PM