Tuesday, September 14, 2010


You know that feeling you get the first time you see a person that you really care for after you have a falling out? You are never really prepared for the flood of emotions! If you know me, you know I am always prepared. This is the case in this situation also. I knew I would probably have to see Chris today as he works for the same company as I do. It has been over three months since I have seen him. I was not quite sure how it would make me feel, but I was pretty sure it would not feel good. So……I knew when he would be coming into the office today so I positioned myself so I could see him but he would not be able to see me. I admit I wanted a head start on getting my emotions under control! He pulls in and gets out of his truck right in front of me and I get a good long look at him. Believe it or not I didn’t hurt the way I had thought I would. Yes, it hurt that I could not touch him like I use to or have that playful banter. I was hurt but my instinct to take care of him kicked right in. He looked tired and worn out. Instinctively I wanted to wrap my arms around him and soothe away all his stress and worry. Instead I watched him walk in the building and I drove away to see my patients. I’ve had the day to ponder my feeling and have concluded I still love him enough to only want him to be happy, even if it’s not with me. One day I am sure he will realize he let the perfect one slip away. The one that didn’t think there was anything wrong with him, the one that accepted his past and present and just loved him for who he is. I hope I can still be this calm when we actually speak to each other in person! If it stirs up all the emotion I was preparing for then Ill just have to go sit on the porch with a cocktail while Im trying to figure it out……


  1. you did P.I duty and didnt invite me? Glad it wasnt as hard as yyou had envisioned bubs.

  2. Damn men! That's all I got, want me to kick someones ass?