Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Was it worth it?

Well tonight I finally met with Chris and told him how I was feeling. I asked him why he didn't feel as though he could tell me that he was seeing someone else. Mind you I have NEVER been angry with him. There is no way he could not have known that I love him and only want him to be happy! He answered "I knew it would change things and I didn't want things to change." Well neither did I babe but the post changed everything! I asked what he was planning on doing and he said just avoid the situation. Yes, besides that I asked. He said he was just gonna avoid the situation and keep me on the back burner. He then proceeds to tell me this is not someone he sees himself with long term, she is just fun right now. Was it worth loosing the best friend that ever happened to you for a little fun? Do friendships mean so little to you? How could you do this to me? Was there ever a time I wasn't in it for you? As we were ending our conversation and I was crying he states "I'm gonna have to do this all over again." What the HELL? Why ruin what we had for something that isn't where you see yourself? Nothing he said tonight gave me the resolution I was looking for. He was so apologetic and nice. I couldn't even bring myself to yell at him! I still wanted to protect him from any pain! I think its time I learned to start protecting myself! Even with all of this said and done, when it comes down to it I still want him....... I would forgive him and start all over trying to make him happy.... But for now Ill start healing my heart and spirit and try to answer all the why's~ while I'm just trying to figure it out!!


  1. I had a dream last nigh I punched Spencer in the nuts, that was pretty final, and it felt GOOD!

  2. I've been there and it hurts. I doubt Chris is worth your pain, Honey. You will find a guy who is not trying to sample all the peaches around. I think he didn't want to tell you because he might not have the same welcome after he did. Shame on him.

  3. Just going by this single post, it sounds as if Chris' only concern in his relationships is himself. That sounds to me as if he isn't worth your time or your heart.

    I know -- that's easy to say from the sideline.

    Thanks for stopping by, and I look forward to reading more of you.